hearts can't be made practical
by calliopium
Summary: No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop herself from falling.
1. loggerheads

**i. loggerheads **

Kella hadn't been entirely sure about the expedition from the get-go. She'd never been asked to participate in an expedition of this kind before—especially when she had not even been present at the guildmerge that had decided it. She preferred to remain in the Healer hall, tending to those with illnesses and injuries. Although, she thought wryly, she was a better option than _Roland_. He lost his temper far too quickly to work with Teknoguilders or Coercers.

Perhaps the reasoning had been because of Pavo, she continued decisively. They could not reach the Beforetime library without his aid, and he had been suffering from some type of sickness that induced coughing fits. She furrowed her brow at this, though, deciding she'd need to check up on him later. He had been avoiding the Healer hall for quite some time now, remaining holed up in the Teknoguild caves.

It was entirely practical to have a Healer on an expedition, she supposed. If something happened, the Healer would be their only chance of survival. And, as a ward, Kella had a certain degree of expertise regarding her Talent. Roland always seemed as though he largely disregarded her abilities, but since he had been the only one from their guild present when the plans had been finalised, Kella wondered if he just hid his admiration or respect. Maybe inwardly he was rather soft. She smiled a little at the thought.

Regardless, she was here now. It was strange leaving Obernewtyn and she couldn't quite shake the fear of travelling through the Land. She had arrived there fearing the worst, still unsure of the promised "refuge". The Master of Obernewtyn, however, was quickly revealed to be a kind and determined man who wished to stand up against the tyrannical Council. Kella had decided to stay, knowing that it would be a safer and kinder environment than any other she had experienced before. At first, she had to admit she'd admired the Master of Obernewtyn in a less than professional way. That was until she met Elspeth Gordie, of course.

After meeting Elspeth Gordie, she quietly entertained notions of the Farseeker Guildmistress and Obernewtyn's Master bonding. Elspeth was a fair bit younger than him, more around Kella's age, but it did not matter all that much to Misfits. They did live on rocky ground, after all. Who could know when the Council would strike? So Kella believed that there was hope for the two of them, even if it was slim. Hence why she slyly inserted Rushton into the conversation whenever she could, while she tended to Elspeth's feet.

Kella shook her head, moving away from her romantic reveries. If Elspeth happened to catch what she was thinking, she was sure the girl would be none too pleased. Sighing, she turned her mind to other topics. Specifically, those on the expedition. Pavo was a kind and gentle person who hardly gave anyone any trouble. She was slightly afraid of Louis Larkin, but dared not let this show—he was a crotchety old man who would hardly appreciate it. Matthew was a reassuring presence, and Jik was rather cute. She'd like to get to know him better, she decided.

—and then there was Domick.

Kella made a point not to interact with those of the Coercer guild too often, for she could not stand their Talent even at the best of times. It wasn't exactly the Talent _itself, _she amended, rather Miryum's attitude towards the "necessity" it was. Hurting people was a necessity? It sounded like Council talk to her, she thought cynically. Domick did not seem to have Miryum's brand of recklessness, but he was just as harsh with his views. She decided to avoid talking to him during the expedition, unless she had to—after all, she didn't want to cause trouble for Elspeth.

And this choice had been quite fine and well, until Louis, Jik and Matthew had gone to collect wood for the fire. Elspeth had gone to the river to bathe and Pavo began looking over his Beforetime notes. Kella awkwardly started to prepare a nightmeal for them, trying to ignore the fact that the Coercer was the only other person present—the only other one paying attention, that is. He had just come back from checking on the horses, frowning.

"If we can't find the pass, then I suppose we will have to bypass the soldierguard encampment," he said aloud, although it seemed as though he was talking to himself rather than Kella. "It will take longer and it would be dangerous … we'd have to coerce them."

Kella sighed. She'd heard enough talk of violence and soldierguards and _coercing_. "Is that the only solution you can ever come up with?" she inquired harshly.

Domick seemed surprised, looking over at her. "What other choice do we have?"

"Pavo is sure that there's a pass there! Whether or not the caravans can travel through the marsh, we still have to try. It will save us a lot of trouble."

"It's not a question of _trouble_," Domick almost sneered at this. "Maybe as a Healer you don't understand the necessity, but this is serious—"

"I'm not a child!" Kella suppressed a growl. It wasn't in her nature to become so angry like this, but she just _really_ couldn't stand the way of the Coercer guild. It was as if violence was the only solution to every problem! It was nonsensical. "I understand the seriousness of the situation! Just because I am not narrow-minded like you are doesn't mean I'm stupid."

Domick was taken aback, but he recovered quickly. "You—"

Pavo interrupted whatever he had been about to say, starting to cough violently. Kella desperately wished to give Domick a piece of her mind, as Roland's rants never seemed to affect him or others of his guild, but her instincts as a Healer took over. She frowned, turned on her heel and went over to the Teknoguilder without a second glance. When Domick attempted to ask her some sort of question about Pavo, she deliberately ignored him.

He was so _infuriating_. Taking command and acting like he was so much better than everybody else! Even seeming to think he was stronger and more Talented than Elspeth! Ridiculous.

But, at the same time, she wished to see exactly how he justified his opinions. Miryum grated on her nerves far too much for Kella to bother holding a conversation with her, but Domick was different. Perhaps his reasoning was more logical? At times he _did_ manage to surprise her. This thought unsettled her a little, but it was the truth.

Still, that didn't stop her from disagreeing.

* * *

**ooc**: Hello! So this is basically just meant to be an anthology of "moments" between Domick and Kella, "offscreen". I love and adore the couple so much... that I really just had to. This one is set during the beginning of _The Farseekers_, if you couldn't guess, when Elspeth notes that "Domick and Kella have begun a heated argument". I wondered for a while what it would be about, but decided it _probably _had something to do with their Talents, considering their guilds are at loggerheads. The one-shots will follow the story chronologically, and build their relationship how I think it would've progressed. However, I'm going to try hard to stick to canon facts, too! |D


	2. perceptions

**ii. perceptions**

Kella decided that she most definitely wanted to leave Henry Druid's camp before she was forced to bond with someone. It wasn't that the idea of bonding with someone _repulsed _her—for, actually, the idea thrilled her—but it was the idea of bonding with an unTalent. Worse, an unTalent who hated "mutations".

While Elspeth had been entertained by a rather handsome red-haired fellow who seemed to genuinely like her, Kella had been "courted" by an unruly man who'd had too much of the red and white ferment. She'd noticed that the man looked a little like Domick, although his resemblance to the Coercer ended there. It was part of the reason why she'd thought he might be trustworthy, although she didn't know how she'd come to _that _conclusion.

It was odd, not being able to feel the man's emotions. The static that pervaded the area made her feel uneasy. If it really _was _a Beforetime machine, and even Elspeth's power could not break through it, then it was dangerous. She wondered briefly if Domick had managed to escape to Obernewtyn, and fervently hoped that he would soon come to their rescue. She wasn't used to the idea of depending on the insufferable Coercer for _anything_, let alone saving her from being forced to bond with a horrid alcoholic, but she also believed in him. She thought maybe violence would be unavoidable.

That was the most unsettling thought she'd had yet, so she discarded it.

Later, Elspeth discovered that a _baby _had been behind the static that surrounded them on all sides. Kella had to stop herself from laughing at the irony. A baby? The Council would love to hear a Misfit baby was that powerful! Kella was not often so bitter, but the Council inspired a certain kind of hate in her.

But running into the baby and the other Misfits it had coerced, they were able to finalise an escape plan. Kella found herself glad that Domick had not gone back to Obernewtyn, according to Elspeth—that he would be there when they did escape. The thought arose from nowhere, but the Coercer _was _the best strategist she knew. While she felt safe with Elspeth, Domick had inspired a different of safety that she had not realised until he was gone. She was sure, if anyone would be able to get them through this, it would be him. He was one of Rushton's trusted allies, all things considered.

The first step of the plan had been to trap Erin, the Druid's ghastly daughter. The wench had cornered Elspeth earlier, not intending to let her out of her sight until Elspeth's forced bonding would happen. The healer was sure that it was Erin's bad sense of humour that had led her to suggest the gatekeeper who had not even recognised Elspeth was a woman. Kella sighed.

"How will we get to Elspeth now?" Jik asked worriedly.

"…I suppose by force," she responded idly. She'd concealed an arrow head in her clothes beforehand, and pulled it out. Jik looked bemused.

"I thought healers did not know how to use weapons," he said in wonderment.

Kella shrugged. "I don't. But I can learn."

Perhaps she had begun to see Domick's point of view after all. _Survival of the fittest. _She did not want to hurt Erin, and she had promised herself firmly she would not, but she had to _look _as though she was going to or they would never be able to escape. And so when she pressed her weapon against Erin's neck, threatening her, she was not surprised to see Elspeth's startled look.

She had never been away from Obernewtyn since she had arrived, had never had to fend for herself as a Misfit loyal to the refuge, and so the change was almost inevitable, wasn't it? She couldn't stay holed up in her Healer hall forever, ignoring the brutality of the Land. Maybe Domick was right. But that did not mean she would turn to violence completely—above all else, it still sickened her.

Surprisingly, she managed not to retch when Elspeth had been forced to knock out their pursuer with the power of her mind, as they ran from the encampment. She'd been suspicious for a long while that the girl was a lot stronger than she let on, but she was also slightly fearful. Elspeth was so closed off to everyone else that it was hard to predict what she thought at any given time. Kella only wished she had the ability of farseeking! She forced herself not to dwell on it too much, for there were definitely more pressing matters at hand.

Elspeth had said Domick would be waiting for them at the river. Because of this, Kella urged Jik on, hauling Elspeth along behind them. She was losing energy fast, but they had to keep going. After Elspeth had told her of Maryon's prediction, she was only further convinced that she had to do whatever she could to ensure it didn't come true. Kella would fight for Obernewtyn if it came down to it. She knew that now. Perhaps not with a weapon as Domick would, but she would give her all nonetheless.

When they reached him, Kella had to stop the rising urge to throw her arms around his neck. She was sure it wasn't the place or the time and it was a rather silly idea to begin with. This _was _still Domick. Still the Coercer ward, just as she was the Healer ward. They were complete and utter opposites.

Instead, she concerned herself with Elspeth, attempting to draw some of her pain into herself. The girl looked like the walking dead after using her mind in that manner. Immediately, she regretted it—whatever power Elspeth had used had deeply affected her. Kella staggered back, pale, barely noticing that Domick had steadied her and shot her a worried glance.

As they all clambered aboard the makeshift raft and tied themselves to it, Kella felt oddly light-headed. Not just from Elspeth's pain, but from the sneaking suspicion that they would survive this. They were escaping. She would not have to bond with a Druid armsman! They would have a shot at saving Obernewtyn.

As Domick cut the rope holding the raft to the bank, they went spiralling into the darkness of the cave.

She could not stop herself from reaching out to grip his hand. _It'll be all right._


	3. revelation

**iii. revelation **

"Are you all right?"

Kella opened her eyes wearily, looking up at Domick's concerned face. As her eyesight became more pronounced, she realised they were in some sort of cottage. As she assessed her surroundings, she knew that it was not a place she was familiar with. However, Domick was here—perhaps it was an inn of some sort? She couldn't remember what had happened after they'd tumbled down that waterfall. She had expected to awaken washed up on to the shore.

"I'm fine," she managed after a few moments, forcing herself to sit. She gasped as her arm began to ache horribly.

"Don't move too much," he scolded lightly. "It may be fractured from the fall."

She was not in the mood to argue with him, but not entirely touched by what sounded like a patronising tone, either. "What about—the others? Are they—?"

Domick snorted. "Once a healer, always a healer," he shook his head. "They're fine. No worse off than you are."

Kella bristled. "You don't seem worried," she fired back. "Once a coercer, always a coercer, I suppose."

The change in Domick's face was almost immediate. He seemed almost repelled by her words—he morphed from nonchalant to annoyed in the span of a few seconds. "I _was _worried. How do you think it felt to be the only one conscious? I thought you…"

Her anger tapered off. While empathy was only her secondary Talent, she could feel that his emotions were sincere. He _had _been worried. About Elspeth, Jik and Pavo—but his worry had seemed to be centred on _her _in particular. She stared, uncomprehending.

"I'm sorry," she said eventually.

He remained silent, staring out of the window. She noted that he was not completely uninjured, as he was covered in bruises and small scratches. Her stomach turned uneasily. For some inexplicable reason, she hated to see it. She also noticed he was favouring one leg. It would be just like Domick to ignore his own injuries if he felt they were not safe. _Once a coercer, always a coercer. _

Kella got to her feet unsteadily. "Here," she said. "Let me help you with—"

As she tried to make her way over to him, she felt her legs give way. Obviously she was less recovered than she thought. Domick managed to catch her before she fell, and to her utter bewilderment, started laughing. She wondered if he was mocking her, but could only fathom surprise in response. Perhaps he'd hit his head. It would explain a lot about his odd behaviour, Kella thought quietly to herself.

"You are completely insane," he told her eventually, gently pushing her to sit back down. "Get back into bed and rest a little more. The woman who took us in, Katlyn, she is an herb lorist. She has tended to my injuries already."

His emotions seemed to indicate that he was not only amused, but seemingly _touched _by her display. Kella baulked. She had not meant to give him any sort of wrong impression! But she had to admit she _had _begun to warm to him since the start of their expedition. She had always convinced herself that she held no regard for him, and it was easy to keep up at Obernewtyn, for their guilds were barely civil with one another. But on this journey, she'd realised that guild rivalry was not enough of a reason for her to dislike Domick. She wasn't even sure if she ever had disliked _him _as a person, rather just disliked his guild in general. That complicated things, unfortunately, but not in an entirely bad way.

Whilst they had been travelling through the cave on the raft, she'd clung to his hand as long as she thought she could without looking odd. They'd exchanged glances over Elspeth's embarrassment, and she'd felt a certain sense of camaraderie developing between them. She felt she could understand him better now than she ever had at Obernewtyn. Maybe life-threatening situations were what it took to properly form a bond of friendship with somebody.

There was that word again. "Bond". Kella flushed, but Domick must've thought it had to do with her exhaustion, for he said nothing.

"I'm going to scout around the area," he told her. "If you feel the need to tend to somebody, I guess Elspeth could use it. But try to rest some more, please. Katlyn can look after them in the meantime. She's trustworthy."

Kella nodded slowly. "…all right," she responded. His tone hadn't sounded commanding or authoritative, merely tinged with that same worry she'd felt from him before. It caused a certain sensation in her stomach and chest that made her feel slightly giddy. "But you should be careful, if you're going out alone."

To her surprise, he smiled slightly at her. He did not often smile or laugh at _anything_, not even Roland's comical yelling, and here she had experienced both in the span of five minutes! It was odd, she decided. Very odd. "Don't worry about me. I can take care of myself."

Kella stared down at her hands. "I never doubted that, Domick."

She did not often use his name, even when they had talked at Obernewtyn, and those times had been few and far between—except at guildmerge. She had always simply addressed him as a ward of his guild, then. To be completely honest, she'd often been a little apprehensive of talking to him in a personal context. He always seemed so distant and cold. Others in his guild frequently had similar personalities; she'd thought it was because the Talent of coercion demanded it. But maybe it was just a façade on Domick's part. He certainly seemed different now, despite their situation.

"I'll be back soon," he said carefully. The next thing he did shocked Kella very greatly. He put an arm around her, almost as if in an embrace, squeezing her a little. He drew back very quickly, face tinged a little pink, before he went back over to the window and disappeared without another word.

Kella remained sitting on the bed, the pain in her arm forgotten. She could still feel the warmth he'd left behind, and the tangle of emotions that had been released when he'd touched her. Fear, worry, anger—but, greater than those, gladness. She could not quite decipher why this was or when it had developed, but a dynamic had changed between them.

She thought back to her own fear at the Druid's encampment and the hope that Domick would rescue them. The hope that he would have a solution. The hope that he'd be there when they escaped. He always seemed so together and courageous, despite his views on necessary violence and death sometimes being the only way to silence an enemy. Albeit his tendency to block the Talents of "suspicious" Misfits even when they weren't a great danger, and coerce mental barricades in their minds when it wasn't completely necessary, it was all because he cared fiercely for Obernewtyn. For both what it stood for and its inhabitants. While Kella could not bring herself to completely agree with him, for her healer nature was still repulsed by some of his guild's methods, she knew she wouldn't need to ask for his justifications. She knew them already. And maybe she had always known them.

It was not a matter of arrogance or overconfidence. It was a matter of surety in his ability to change things. _Hope_. He wanted the same things she did. And those emotions—

Kella was certain that he was not all he seemed. That he hid the more vulnerable parts of himself to get the job done. She smiled as she realised that he had allowed her to get that close, even momentarily. He knew she had slight empathy—he must've known she'd feel it.

She leant back, staring at the ceiling. He really wasn't that bad... was he?


	4. closeness

**iv. closeness **

Katlyn and her bondmate, Grufyyd, turned out to be kind people who were used to sheltering enemies from the Council. Elspeth had decided to tell them the truth when she realised this, and Kella had naturally agreed with her decision. She could sense there was nothing sinister in their nature—they were merely deeply concerned about their son, Brydda. And she supposed they had a right to be. He was involved in Sedition, and who knew what terror the Council would inflict on him if they found out? When they asked the Misfits to convey a message to him in Aborium, however, she felt fear creeping up her spine. _Aborium?_

Domick would not be part of the expedition by that point, and Aborium was said to be a dangerous place. Elspeth would be the most capable member of their party, but she was still a woman, and a beautiful one at that. She would surely attract the attention of the more lecherous men there. Not to mention the fact they'd probably _all _attract the unwanted attention of soldierguards and possibly informers, too. Elspeth also did not know how to fight like Domick did—and neither did Jik, Pavo or Kella herself. They only had their Talents to protect them, and Kella's Talents of healing and empathy would not aid her much in a fight.

Indeed, Domick refused their request at once—and Kella noticed he'd looked sideways at her when he had—but eventually Elspeth overrode his decision and said that they would gladly travel to deliver the message. Domick was unhappy with the outcome, but there was nothing he could do once Katlyn had expressed her utmost gratitude. It was a repayment of her hospitality, after all. Even though Kella had misgivings about it, she would not deny the woman that. She felt her concern about her son, and the deep sadness it had brought her. She knew they had made the right decision, although it was a dangerous one.

Later, when Kella was packing some of the herbal remedies that Katlyn had given her for the journey, Domick knocked on the door. He slipped into the room quietly, staring at the ground; lost in thought.

"Are you ready?" he asked, after a few minutes of silence between them. Kella had the feeling he was asking about more than just her nearly finished packing.

"Almost," she replied, concerned at his melancholy mood. At the look on his face, she continued on. "Domick, we're going to be fine."

Domick remained unconvinced. "Jik is nothing more than a child _and _a novice, Pavo is ill. And you're—"

"What?" she challenged. "What am I?"

_Incompetent, _she'd expected him to say. At least in terms of fighting.

He sighed heavily. "If it came down to it, would you kill a man?"

Kella shuddered at the thought almost immediately. Domick smiled grimly. "You see, Elspeth is perhaps the only one that would, if she needed to. And her plans are often reckless and stupid."

He must be thinking about the raft, Kella thought. Although she would not use either of those words to describe the girl. To her, Elspeth was a survivor. She was strong and beautiful and distant, which made her the perfect combination to be desirable. No wonder Dameon and Matthew felt the way they did—and no wonder she had the suspicion that Rushton might, too. Kella was amused that Elspeth seemed to have no real idea about any of it.

But she felt a stab of _something _when she thought that maybe Domick could be added to that list of admirers. He'd seemed particularly perturbed when he'd said it. Perhaps he hadn't been centring his worry on _her _at all; perhaps he'd centred it on _Elspeth._

"Are you concerned for her?" she asked quietly.

Domick looked at her strangely. "I'm concerned for everyone."

Kella shook her head. _Of course. _Not that she blamed Domick at all, for Elspeth was a good person. Why had the thought unbalanced her so much?

"…I see," she turned back to her things.

She could feel Domick staring at her and wondered why he did not leave. They had nothing left to say to each other. While they had formed an uneasy friendship—and she had perhaps invested too much emotion in it, as she wasn't even sure when she'd see him again—they were still from opposing guilds. They still had differing viewpoints. What common ground could they find? Especially as Domick was to go to Sutrium to establish a safe house. Once they completed their expedition, Kella would return to Obernewtyn with the others. Who could say how often they would see each other at _all _after that? She sighed. Don't think about it, she told herself firmly, else you will just inflict negativity on everyone.

They had to survive Aborium first.

"You know," he said eventually, breaking into her thoughts. "I always wanted to talk to you. At Obernewtyn."

Kella started so much that she almost dropped the pot of Katlyn's herbal soup. She turned to face him, brow knitted. "What do you mean?"

"You…" he trailed off, suddenly seeming uncertain. Kella detected nervousness. But that was silly. What did he have to be nervous of? _Her_? "Everyone talked about how kind you were. How accepting you were, of anything. Of anyone. They always said that you were the one to go to, not Roland, if you suffered from an injury or sickness that you might be scolded for. After all, Roland has a foul temper," he said wryly. "I thought maybe…"

Kella blinked hazily. She could hardly believe what she was hearing. She'd thought Domick had tried to avoid _her _as much as she had him. "…really?"

He snorted. "Sometimes it is difficult dealing with others in my guild. At times, I wished to befriend someone who was… more like you. More understanding and far less abrasive," he sighed, moving closer to her. Kella's heart raced. "I'm concerned something will happen if you go to Aborium. I'm no futureteller, but…"

"I will return," Kella said hesitantly. She couldn't be sure of such a thing, of course, but Domick's tone of voice disconcerted her greatly. She'd never heard the coercer speak with such emotion before. Her thoughts—were they possibly _jealousy?_—concerning Elspeth vanished, leaving only disbelief and wonderment behind. Did he really…?

"You had better," Domick shook his head. Then he looked pensive. "Kella. When we see each other again…"

She could barely trust her voice to respond. "Yes?"

He stared at her for what seemed like an eternity, before his eyes softened, losing their hard edge. His face slackened, causing him to look much closer to his age. Less like a worn Coercer ward. "…never mind. I will speak with you about it when we do see each other again. It can wait."

Kella was prepared to retort to this somewhat indignantly, _for he couldn't mean to leave her hanging like that, _when he crossed the room quickly and placed his hands on her shoulders. Gently, though, not roughly like she'd expected. Not daring to move or break the contact, she looked up into his dark eyes. His emotions were frenzied again, but there was a strange new feeling that blocked out all the negative emotions. Kella was too afraid to admit what it might be.

He leant down and pressed his lips to her cheek; it was chaste, but it carried a lot of feeling. It only lasted for a few moments before he pulled away again, as though prolonged physical contact would hurt him. He shifted backwards, awkward, uncomfortable, bobbing his head at her. Kella stifled a laugh—he _definitely _looked his age when he was unsure what to do. She'd never thought the great Domick would get so flustered. And at her, of all things!

"Be careful. Do not do anything that might attract suspicion. Make sure Jik doesn't use his Talents carelessly—if he accidentally probes someone who is mind sensitive, you will be given away. Also make sure that Elspeth is cautious and does not endanger all of you with her tendency for rash plans. And… take care of Pavo," his tone was commanding, but Kella did not mind it. After what he'd just done, she was sure it was only advice to keep her alive. Safe. Unharmed.

She attempted a smile, hoping to reassure him somewhat. "I will," she said as confidently as she could muster. "I'll miss you," she whispered as an afterthought, surprising herself by finding that she spoke the truth.

He paused as he heard the words, looking almost relieved, and left the room soon after. It was a goodbye without saying goodbye. Perhaps it was easier that way.

Kella reached to touch the spot where he'd kissed her. It tingled lightly, pleasantly.

She decided this goodbye, this moment—it was a memory she'd keep with her to brave Aborium.


	5. trapped

**v. trapped **

She'd been right to feel apprehensive about stupid Aborium.

Kella looked down at her hands, tears dripping silently down her cheeks. They had barely been in the city a day when they'd been captured by those Ludawful priests. She had been in charge of them when Elspeth had gone on ahead—Jik was a child, and Pavo's condition had only gotten worse. But Kella hadn't been able to stop the Herder priests from capturing them. Hadn't been able to stop them take Jik away. Hadn't been able to stop them from questioning Pavo.

The boy was lying across from her, breathing harshly. She'd done her best to alleviate the pain, but knew it was only a temporary solution. Pavo was dying, whether the Herder intervened or not. But Kella couldn't stand seeing him in so much pain. It was wrong. It was just—_wrong_.

"They're horrible," she sobbed quietly. "They're _horrible_. I hope their stupid Lud strikes them down where they stand!"

Pavo laughed, wheezing. "This expedition has certainly made you outspoken, Kella," he said fondly, staring at the ceiling. "Perhaps it _is _a good thing."

Kella started shaking at this, shivering, the tears freefalling. "I'm so sorry, Pavo," she whispered. "I'm so, so sorry. I shouldn't have—I should've—"

Pavo had offered to go in her place for the questioning, had said he knew more than she did. Kella had watched the priests take him away, desperately wanting to scream out to them that she'd tell them all they needed to know if only they didn't hurt him. But she knew that was foolish. Pavo was already suffering from the rotting sickness, and she couldn't betray Obernewtyn for someone that was going to die regardless. It was coercer-type thinking, but at least it made sense to her.

Kella sighed, hugging herself. What would Domick say in this situation? _He's content to die—he's helping you because he knows you still have a chance._

She mused that, when she first started out on the expedition, she'd view that as coldness—even that he didn't care at all. But Domick was a strange one. He was rather talented at keeping his feelings locked away, in places where they were hard to reach, even for him. But she was sure he cared.

_Concentrate on escape, _he'd say. _If you have to, leave Pavo behind. He'll understand._

And Pavo would. Kella couldn't bring herself to leave him, though. If Pavo were to die here, then he would at least die without pain. He would at least die with a friend to hold his hand. Kella prayed that Elspeth would find them before this happened, somehow. She hoped the girl was all right. And if Elspeth didn't find them, then surely Domick would come… soon? If he heard no word from them, there was no way he wouldn't come looking. But would he come in time, before the Herder sold them to slavers? Kella didn't know where Elspeth had heard such rumours from, but she was sure they were true. She shivered. Becoming a slave had to be worse than being sent to a Councilfarm. It _had_ to be.

She wished she were brave like Elspeth, courageous like Domick. Maybe then Kella would find the strength to try to escape herself. She wished she was not weak and afraid and fearful of violence. She wished she was smarter, more cunning. She was going to let Pavo down, just because she was not as strong as Elspeth. But—Kella had promised herself she _would _fight for Obernewtyn. That was something, wasn't it? Some kind of strength? She wasn't sure. All she knew now was that she was afraid for Pavo, for herself.

"Kella," Pavo rasped. "Don't cry. It'll be… fine."

"How can you say that?" Kella shook her head. "You don't know that! What if they—decide to kill us? Or sell us off to…? What if they want to interrogate you more?"

"Ah," Pavo sighed. Kella started trying to draw more of his pain into herself, but he waved her off after a few moments. "…if only you were a coercer. You could put a block on my mind."

She was flabbergasted. "I wouldn't!"

Pavo smiled wanly. "If only I'd thought to ask Domick."

Kella fell silent at that, wiping the tears away from her eyes. _Domick_. Hadn't she thought before that Domick would sacrifice Pavo to save her? Maybe that was presumptuous, but it seemed like Pavo believed so, too. _It would be for the best, in the long run, _his voice sounded in her head. _As would a block on the poor man's mind. At least then he would not be guilty when he died, for he wouldn't be forced to betray us._

_Maybe you're right, _Kella thought.

How silly was she, talking to herself? She wished she could farseek—if only she were able to talk to Domick in person! Although that was ridiculous. Not even Elspeth could farseek that far. But he'd reassure her in ways that Elspeth could not. She thought back to the kiss he'd left on her cheek, to the half-embrace he'd given her before he'd left the room. She remembered how cool he'd been with her when they separated properly, but his eyes had been softer than usual. She remembered thinking she was going to die on the raft and knowing that she'd find it easier to accept if she only clung to his hand.

Her heart had started to beat rapidly. What _were _her feelings for him, exactly? Friendship? Admiration? Respect? Something—more? Kella couldn't bring herself to debate the other, unknown feeling. _Love. _That was something she'd thought she'd never think about in relation to herself, for she was a Misfit and Misfits were doomed to be scorned. She was also a healer and tried to put other matters in front of her own personal ones. Now, she looked at Pavo and realised there must be more to living than worrying about everyone else's wellbeing. There had to be a little more to live for than the fight for freedom. Perhaps being a little selfish at times gave you strength to face that fight.

Kella was thrilled by the thought, and afraid. How could she be sure that he returned her feelings? She knew he was concerned for her, worried for her, and she'd felt that new, tense emotion from him when they'd parted. But what if it was not the same kind of feeling that had awakened in her? She shook her head. She couldn't afford to think about such things, not in this place. For now, she was not even sure she'd live to see him again, let alone confess any type of feeling she felt for him.

_Domick._

"Do you hear something?" Pavo asked suddenly, staring at the door. There were footsteps outside.

Kella bit her lip so hard that it began to bleed. "They—they must want to question you more…" she said quietly, horrified at the prospect. Pavo squeezed her hand reassuringly. She was struck by the kind gesture—but shouldn't she be doing that for _him? _She wanted to sob.

But as the door opened, it instead revealed _Elspeth _standing there. Kella's face morphed from fear to complete shock.

"There's no time to talk," Elspeth said. "We have to hurry."


End file.
